By Gwen Manickam
Jul 19 2021
PETALING JAYA – The Parish Ministry of Ecumenical and Interreligious Affairs (PMEIA) of the Church of the Assumption hosted an online forum on interfaith marriages on July 8.
The panel included parish priest, Fr Gregory Chan, Legal Advisor to the Baha’i National Spiritual Assembly, Darmain Segaran, Head of Spiritual and Religious Sub Committee of Shree Lakshmi Narayan Temple, Arvind Rampal, and Giani Lakhbir Singh who is actively involved in Sikhism Priestly and Religious matters. The 90-minute session was moderated by Dempsey Fernandez.
Some 90 people from various parishes and faith communities logged in to the first of a two-part series. The spiritual advisor for the Archdiocesan Ministry of Ecumenical and Interreligious Affairs (AMEIA), Fr Xavier Andrew, was also present.
In his opening address, Fr Chan welcomed everyone and said that the evening’s objective was to gain understanding as more marriages today are made up of couples from different faiths.
“While we respect all religions, we need to advise the couples and their families on how to proceed. The parties need to understand what their rights and responsibilities are from the beginning,” said Fr Chan.
On some of the challenges faced in interfaith marriages, Arvind Rampal, whose wife of 10 years is Sikh said, “Thus far, my wife and I have faced absolutely no challenges regarding our differing religions. When we got married, there was complete and total acceptance of both our faiths, there was no compulsion or encouragement to convert on either side.”
Arvind said that as a Hindu, he has total freedom to pursue any spiritual teaching as part of his progress, on one condition: that there is no condemnation or judgement of anyone else who is not following the same spiritual path. “The belief is that we are all one family and we should see each other as the divine.”
From the Baha’i perspective, Darmain Segaran believes every religion looks at the institution of marriage as something sacred and important. “The Baha’i faith sees marriage as a fortress of wellbeing and salvation. When this is established from the start, it helps couples, especially of different faiths, to place spirituality at the centre of their relationship,” said Darmain, whose wife is of Chinese ethnicity.
Giani Lakhbir Singh shared that Sikhism teaches that the human race is one. We all come from the divine being.
“Generally, we prefer if they marry someone from the same faith, as it is easier to be on the same wavelength but there is no prohibition to wed someone from another faith. The main advice given is that the marriage should be till death do you part,” said Giani.
“One of the customs Sikhs need to teach their partner from a different faith is about the 10 Gurus and the gurpurbs that are celebrated in a Gurudwara. Anyone is welcome to visit a Gurudwara and partake in a meal, nobody will question them,” he said. From the Catholic perspective, Fr Chan said “We define marriage as a covenant by which a man and a woman establish themselves as a partnership for life, which is ordered by its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of the offspring, raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of the sacrament between the baptised.”
Some of the questions the priest asks interfaith couples preparing for marriage include, ‘Do you love one another?’ ‘How have you journeyed, dialogued and talked to each other on important matters like religion’, ‘Have you visited each other’s houses of worship, out of respect, not conversion’, ‘Have you discussed setting up different altars, as you cannot place all sacred objects together on a single altar?’ Finally, during the marriage preparation course of an interfaith union, the priest talks about how two families from different religious beliefs can be one and all customs, traditions and boundaries be respected.
In today’s polarised world, Arvind felt that the odds of a mixed-faith marriage working depends on the people’s sense of tribalism. He said if we can remove the ego and all sources that create separation and not look at another group as coming to take away resources, there is a good chance the interfaith marriage will work.
With the influx of social media, Fr Chan said it was more challenging for mixed-faith marriages. He said, “The Bible talks about an unequal yoke when it comes to one party losing their sense of identity and moving away from God. This leads to the burden of the yoke being unbalanced and it may eventually break. But if both parties can sort out their issues and come closer to God, the yoke is not unequal and thus a blessing.”
In closing, Giani Lakhbir said that in matters of the heart, Sikhs believe the woman is half of you (man) and you get your salvation through the woman you are married to as you are completed by a woman. Their scripture also states that they do not hurt anybody’s heart as that is where God resides, so we should humble ourselves and love and accept everyone. – Herald Malaysia
