I work as a medical representative, covering hospitals, clinics and pharmacies in Sabah. Recently my company added my job scope to cover 90 additional outlets. That is about double the amount of outlets I used to cover. Some of these places are located in COVID-19 red zone.
I felt challenged by my company’s decision with this extra work, and without extra pay. Fear began to creep in. I became anxious, stress out, and fearful of contracting COVID-19. Who wouldn’t be? Going to these places also meant that I need to travel outstation without my husband accompanying me.
What if something happened to me when I am outstation? What if there is a new inter-district border control or a sudden lockdown while I am there, and I am unable to return home?
The notion of me, a woman, working out there makes me feel unsafe. I have not yet informed my manager that I have yet to cover the red zone areas. As I am reflecting on the reality that I am living in, another fear surfaced. I am at risk of losing my job if I do not meet my company’s requirements. Landing a new job during this pandemic time is not easy. If I should lose my job, it means that I will have no income to pay for my insurance, car loans and other expenses. If that happens, I would have to resort to dig into my savings, or even to ask money from my husband, which makes me feel uneasy as I value my financial independence. Such thoughts began to run through my mind.
At work, I have a travel partner who is 20 years older than me. I have known her for the past six years. Along our long journeys to our work places outside the city, I have many opportunities to share with her. I realized that I have been sharing a lot about Jesus with her, my transformation, my family, and my community. I felt alive as I shared with her. Though she is a Buddhist, she enjoyed listening to my stories about Jesus, about my identity as a capable woman, loved and cherished by God. She revealed that I have been a blessing in her life, in being myself and in sharing Jesus with her. We have built a good friendship together.
This has also made me realize that throughout my career, I have brought Jesus to others as well – doctors, pharmacists, nurse – people whom I met because of my work. I noted the friendliness with which the pharmacists dealt me as I came across them in my work although my other Pharma line friends might disagree with me. I used to hear them say that the pharmacists are unfriendly to them. Perhaps my approach is different. I always bring Jesus to my workplace, my actions and my conversations.
This is because I have tasted God’s love and I want to share it with others too, especially in my workplace. I find purpose for me in this world when I am able to bring Jesus in my daily life, as well as my workplace. Despite the fears and challenges that I am currently facing in my job, I still find great joy in doing my work because it gives me the opportunity to share about my journey with Jesus so openly. I am able to live out my call as a missionary.
Because Mary said yes, she became the Star of Evangelization. Because of her yes, Jesus became man. And I have tasted God’s unconditional love. Today, my yes has brought me to live a life of fullness and freedom, sharing God’s greatness to others.
Star of the new Evangelization (Evangelii Gaudium 287)
Mary let herself be guided by the Holy Spirit on a journey of faith towards a destiny of service and fruitfulness. Today we look to her and ask her to help us proclaim the message of salvation to all and to enable new disciples to become evangelizers in turn.
Along this journey of evangelization we will have our moments of aridity, darkness and even fatigue. Mary herself experienced these things during the years of Jesus’ childhood in Nazareth: “This is the beginning of the Gospel, the joyful good news. However, it is not difficult to see in that beginning a particular heaviness of heart, linked with a sort of night of faith – to use the words of Saint John of the Cross – a kind of ‘veil’ through which one has to draw near to the Invisible One and to live in intimacy with the mystery. And this is the way that Mary, for many years, lived in intimacy with the mystery of her Son, and went forward in her pilgrimage of faith”
Mary let herself be guided by the Holy Spirit on a journey of faith towards a destiny of service and fruitfulness.
- The Annunciation – her yes to God, even though she did not know what that means
- The Visitation – Sharing good news with Elizabeth who receives her good news
- The Wedding at Cana – being present and pointing to Jesus for solution
How do you identify with Mary? When are those moments that you have responded to God and said yes to his invitation?
In my situation, it was being present to my job and being a blessing to the people I meet – doctors, pharmacists, nurses, and my travel companion.
Along this journey of evangelization we will have our moments of aridity, darkness and even fatigue, as did Mary.
- Finding in the Temple – feeling panic, lost, worried, not understanding her Son’s choices, behaviour
- The way to the Cross – accompanying her Son, in pain and suffering
- The death of Jesus on the Cross – witnessing the death of the One she loves
- Waiting in the Upper Room with the disciples – the unknown in the waiting for Jesus who promised to come back
How do you identify with Mary? What is causing you a lot of pain today? What, or who, have you lost? Are you also waiting and feeling that you are running out of hope?
This COVID situation has brought me to the place of the unknown, of waiting for this uncertainty to finally end, so that I can do what I used to do without fear. Yet, I wait in hope.
Valerie is passionate in empowering and connecting with women. She is also serving in SHINE youth ministry, Sacred Heart Cathedral.
