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Home Feature

What I learnt from hugs and high-fives

July 29, 2025
in Feature
(Photo Supplied)

Word made Fresh – Nicholas Lye

IN a recent mission trip to Cambodia, one of the mission participants asked me why the Cambodian children seem so open to giving us hugs and high-fives, even when we are only meeting them for the first time, and have not done anything for them yet. Indeed, such has been my experience over the last 15 years of doing mission in Cambodia, where the children are so eager to run up to you, a random stranger, but shower you with love and affection as if they were meeting a longtime friend.

“Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children.” (Mark 10:14)

Perhaps their outward actions reveal the God-given internal desire found in every person for real human connection, connections not just for personal gain or a mutual exchange of benefits, but out of a pure, simple gift of love and presence within a common bond that goes beyond nationality, personality or social status. Perhaps such is the way God’s kingdom is meant to be experienced, where everyone is loved and welcomed simply for who they truly are, God’s children, and not for anything they have done ‘right’ or performed ‘well’, for love was never meant to be earned or given as a reward.

Still, I admit that I am not always so forthcoming as these children to own and act upon my internal desires for such connections. Like many people, I have been disappointed, hurt, and even rejected in some of my attempts to reach out. Some of my genuine efforts to extend love and affection, through my own unique way, have not always been well received. Either because of a certain bias towards my vulnerability or creativity, or a misunderstanding and misreading of my true intentions that eventually got misjudged and condemned. This has resulted in me sometimes suppressing such desires for connection, and choosing to remain in my shell for fear of making the ‘wrong’ connections.

Even as a spiritual director for this recent mission trip, where I was tasked to lead the mission participants in daily spiritual reflections, I faced initial fears of whether people would take well to my creative activities and unique style of facilitation. I have heard comments from previous mission trips that my sessions are not ‘spiritual’ enough, or have received complaints that people were too tired to reflect or share. Such reactions have actually dissuaded me from making connections with some of the mission participants, for fear that they might reject me or think poorly of me.

“‘I tell you the truth, anyone who does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.’ Then He took the children in His arms and placed His hands on their heads and blessed them.” (Mark 10:15-16)

But when I looked to the Cambodian children once again, and recalled how unconditional and accepting their love is, I began to desire to learn from them how to continue reaching out and making connections, regardless of how others might respond. I desired to continue being myself and dancing myself silly even if it only attracts a small group willing to connect with me through dance or my unique ways. I desired to listen to my internal desires for connection and continue seeking people who might appreciate such connections without me realising.

Sure enough, in the recent mission trip, as I plucked up my courage to show up as I am, and be a unique gift just as I am, I chose to welcome all the mission participants the way the Cambodian children have welcomed me. I chose to bless them with my unique gifts, just as the Cambodian children blessed me with their simple hugs and high-fives. In the end, people did truly appreciate the unique gift that I am, and the real human connections that I offered them through my stories, vulnerability, and unique style of facilitating the spiritual reflections.

Did I have reached out to everyone the same way? Probably not. Might everyone have liked everything that I did? Not likely. But did the spiritual sessions serve as a platform for mission participants to make real human connections with one another, through their honesty in how they were feeling, their learnings through their mission experiences, and their encounters with the Cambodians and fellow mission participants? I believe so. For that, I believe we experienced a foretaste of what the Kingdom of God would be like.

And so, through the Cambodian children and my fellow mission participants, I learnt in a deeper way to see everyone as part of God’s larger family offering a hug or high-five; I learnt to see myself as worthy of connection in the way that the children and others see in me; and I am inspired to contribute to a kingdom mindset and culture where we can all fearlessly approach anyone we meet, even for the first time, and offer real human connection just as God does.

 

(Nicholas is a lay missionary and creative evangelist who loves to use creativity and various art forms to share the faith and help people encounter God’s truths in a fun and meaningful way) – Herald Malaysia

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