By Dominic Mai Van Hai
Not long ago, a young Vietnamese man living and working in Japan called me with a startling question: “Brother, I heard that in religious life there are quarrels, flattery of superiors, and even physical fights. Is that true?”
I fell silent for a moment before replying honestly: “Yes, it does happen. Sometimes even men and women religious cannot fully master their emotions.”
That simple but unsettling question has stayed with me, forcing me to reflect more deeply on the reality of consecrated life.
Perception versus hidden reality
Many people imagine religious life as peaceful and quiet, a place where love, forgiveness, and unity prevail. Yet few realize that even within the “house” of those consecrated to God, tensions, misunderstandings, and even “hidden battles” can arise.
Community life, where we are invited to love one another as Christ has loved us, sometimes becomes the very battlefield of personal differences and inflated egos.
Most who enter religious life carry noble ideals: offering themselves wholly to God, desiring to love and live in unity, ready to be sent anywhere and to do anything for the glory of God and the good of others, especially the poor. These ideals provide them with energy to overcome difficulties and form the foundation of inner peace.
Yet the path toward true peace is not lined only with roses. Community life, though a privileged environment for practicing love and unity, is also where the toughest challenges surface.
Sources of conflict
Differences in personality and habit are inevitable. Some are active and outspoken; others are reserved and cautious. Some speak bluntly; others remain polite and indirect. Jealousy and rivalry, though rarely acknowledged, can creep into ministry assignments, academic work, or even the amount of attention one receives from superiors.
Diverging pastoral visions sometimes spark disagreements and division. The way authority is exercised or the way obedience is lived can also create tension.
The consequences are serious: community harmony is weakened, fatigue sets in, apostolic zeal declines, and in the worst cases, consecrated persons lose the inner fire that should make them credible witnesses of Christian unity.
What true peace means
In the face of these struggles, it is easy to feel restless or even discouraged. How, then, can we live in true peace amid differences and imperfections?
The answer lies in a deeper foundation and a broader vision of peace. Love remains essential for everyone, including the Religious. When we truly love, we forgive and sacrifice for others, and we long for them to live happily and peacefully.
Yet many people equate peace simply with the absence of war or violence. The Church, however, insists otherwise: peace is not a passive silence, nor merely the absence of gunfire or public conflict. True peace is dynamic. It is the presence of order in society, built on truth, justice (mutual respect), love (forgiveness and acceptance), and freedom.
Seen this way, peace does not mean avoiding conflict, enduring in silence, or keeping only an outward appearance of harmony. Instead, it requires facing reality sincerely, engaging in dialogue, and working for reconciliation, even when that process leaves scars and tears.
But in those moments, we must remember our commitment to God.
A novice’s lesson
I recall my own painful experience as a novice. For reasons I couldn’t explain, I felt a deep discomfort toward one of my classmates. He never wronged or insulted me, yet I harbored negative feelings that caused me great suffering.
After sharing this with my novice master, I sat down with him to share my feelings. We spent two evenings listening to each other. Slowly, I realized that my feelings arose from our differences: personalities, cultural backgrounds, and the hidden “corners” of our souls that each of us longed to have respected.
That honest encounter taught me something profound: we can talk openly and build each other up, provided we are sincere and truly desire to live well together.
Such honest dialogue becomes the bridge toward mutual understanding and the stepping-stone toward genuine peace.
A peace close at hand
Peace, then, is not something distant or abstract. It is close at hand, available to anyone willing to set aside a cumbersome ego and genuinely desire the happiness of others.
For religious communities, building peace is not an optional endeavor. It is an essential part of being a credible witness to the Gospel.
But this call is not limited to religious life. Families, workplaces, and parishes all face similar tensions. Wherever we are, we are invited to begin the work of peace in our own hearts and closest relationships.
A peaceful heart, a harmonious family, a united community, these are the real rays of hope for a world thirsting for divine peace. This is the world that Jesus himself longed for when he said: “I have come to set the earth on fire, and how I wish it were already blazing!” (Lk 12:49).
May our desires for peace not remain abstract but be expressed concretely in our daily choices, in small sacrifices, and in the humble acts of forgiveness that keep the flame alive. – UCA News
Dominic Mai Van Hai is a Jesuit priest based in Ho Chi Minh City. This commentary, first published in the Vietnamese-language publication dongten.net, was summarized, translated, and edited by UCA News. The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official editorial position of UCA News.
