If you are Catholic, one might recognize that the three Church-designated vocation callings are religious life, marriage, and being single.
However, within the Catholic community discourse, one needs to say that being single is not always fun. This is because traditionally the single life has not been viewed as a vocation because it is not a vowed life.
The single life vocation whilst overlooking its contribution to society is sporadically denigrated, with the default vocations of marriage, religious life, or consecrated life getting more prominence.
Misconceptions
The general perception within Catholic discourse also mimics our post-modern age which indicates that single life is for partying and then a “way-station” until marriage, or between marriages, or a dumping-ground designation for those who are unable to attract a partner.
Many enter marriage or religious life in haste, sometimes for the wrong reasons, without adequate discernment or preparation, leading to unfulfilled lives.
On the other hand, there is also the perception that the single life vocation is only limited to the “never married,” whilst overlooking the widowed, single parents, separated, or divorced.
According to the Pew Research Centre, among Catholics who have ever been married, roughly 34 percent have experienced a divorce or annulment.
Recognizing this issue, Pope Francis has emphasized the need for lengthier and more meaningful marriage preparation to prevent invalid marriages.
Despite the protracted formative years, religious vocations also exhibit this pattern.
In 2014 there were nearly 1.2 million religious brothers, sisters, order and diocesan priests in the world.
In 2020, or in the following five years, 5,383 of these left their priestly vocations and a good number of religious requested dispensation.
Some of the reasons included inadequate pastoral formation, crises of faith, depression, conflicts with superiors, and choosing the wrong path for the wrong reasons.
I’m not using these statistics to advocate for single life, as the same challenges exist across all vocations. I acknowledge that each vocation whether marriage, priesthood, or single life has its own set of difficulties.
While religious life is essential to the Church, marriage and family life play a key role in the growth of the domestic church. However, the single life, excluding age factors, should not be dismissed, as it is also a legitimate vocation.
Reality of vocational challenges
Just as marriage and religious life require discernment and commitment, single life is not merely an accident of circumstances.
Some individuals actively choose to remain single for reasons such as: caring for aging or sick family members; discerning religious life or marriage; personal health challenges; loss of a spouse; a deep sense of mission in professional or spiritual life; divorce or annulment; or religious dispensation.
Far from being a secondary or lesser calling, the single vocation allows individuals to devote themselves more fully to their communities, ministries, and personal spiritual growth.
Church’s view on single life
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 1658) states that single individuals are an integral part of the Church: “The doors of homes, the ‘domestic churches,’ and of the great family which is the Church must be open to all of them.”
The Church recognizes that single life can be a way to live out the baptismal vocation and offer a unique witness to Christ.
Pope St John Paul II, in Christifideles Laici, highlights the dignity and value of lay vocations, emphasizing that every person has a role in building up the Church, whether married, religious, or single.
Furthermore, secular institutes within the Church allow laypeople and priests to live the evangelical counsels while maintaining their roles in society, demonstrating that the single vocation is an accepted and respected path.
How Church can support single Catholics
While the Church acknowledges the value of single life, there is still room for growth in recognizing and supporting those who embrace this vocation.
Here are four key areas where the Church can better serve single Catholics:
Provide Pastoral Care and Support
The Church must ensure that single Catholics, especially those who are widowed or divorced, feel included and supported in the faith community. Divorced Catholics who remain faithful to their marriage vows should be encouraged to find spiritual nourishment in the Eucharist.
Recognize the Witness of Single Catholics
Single Catholics contribute significantly to the Church through service, teaching, charity, and evangelization. Their witness of faithfulness and dedication should be acknowledged and celebrated.
Provide Formation and Preparation
Just as the Church offers marriage preparation and religious formation, it should also provide guidance for those discerning the single vocation. This could include mentorship programs, retreats, and theological studies focused on the lay vocation.
Encourage Community and Friendship
The Church should foster a sense of belonging for single Catholics by offering social and ministry opportunities that help them build meaningful relationships and find spiritual support.
Holiness: The universal vocation for all
In Catholic circles, finding a vocation is often seen as the ultimate goal. However, our primary calling is not to a particular state of life but to holiness.
Whether one is married, a priest, religious, or single, the true measure of our vocation is how well we love and serve God and others.
Holiness is the perfection of God’s love within us, and it is only possible through His grace. Single individuals, like those in other vocations, are called to be witnesses to Christ in every circumstance.
By embracing and affirming the vocation of single life, the Church can become a place where all people, regardless of their state in life, feel valued and called to holiness. – UCA News
*The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official editorial position of UCA News.
