Have you ever been locked in a room because of a faulty door? You scream for help and no one came? How did you feel?
That happened to me recently. I was locked inside the bathroom. I shouted for help, but no one heard me. I was terrified. It reminded me of a childhood experience. I could not remember the details, but I remembered it was a punishment.
I was seven years old. I was locked up inside a room for a whole day, without food or water. The overwhelming feelings came back to me. I was alone, I was abandoned. Thank God, this time, my husband, came and rescued me from being locked in the bathroom. I was locked in there for 20 minutes. He saw me in my mess, with the overwhelming feelings from my childhood.
After the event, I sensed the invitation from God to look back again on my childhood trauma. At that time, our community was being guided through a prayer workshop. I took the opportunity to respond to God’s invitation to look into this. One of our highlights was taking a word from scriptures and allowing ourselves to expand the word, believing that God is speaking through it.
My word, that night, was “favour” from Daniel 3:25 (the reading of that day). I was in awe as I could really see that it was God’s message to me, at this season of my life. I embraced this word “favour” as my identity to replace the lies that I am alone and abandoned.
In the following session, we were introduced to praying through art. I learned that pictures can speak a thousand words. I shared my healing journey with my prayer partner. While listening to me, she was reminded of an image she saw on the internet while doing the prayer workshop exercise.
It brought healing graces as I gazed at the picture. Jesus caressing my head showed me that He loves me, the seven-year old me who felt abandoned and afraid. It was as if Jesus was saying to me, “I was there when you felt alone and abandoned”. I felt my wound being gently healed. Even more so, I felt Jesus inviting me to look beyond my painful memories. He invited me to see the good things that happened on that day when I was locked in the room. My grandmother came and rescued me.
Because of this good memory, I was able to see that I am actually loved. There is someone who came and remembered me. Just like my husband, when he came and rescued me from the bathroom.
The prayer workshop really helped me to find God’s truths creatively, everyday. I am drawn towards praying though drawings and looking at pictures or sceneries. I am grateful that I am able to experience healing, layer by layer, as I continue this intimate and creative journey with God.
Erlea is passionate in helping and empowering women to lead a life with dignity. She loves to try out new cafes in town and enjoy desserts while connecting with friends.
